Salam,

Dibawah ini saya kepilkan pandangan Ustaz mengenai baik dan buruknya penggunaan facebook yang menjadi kegilaan orang ISLAM terutama orang melayu di Malaysia.

Wassalam.

Ulasan Ustaz Zaharuddin.net on Facebook
Semenjak empat bulan terlibat dalam menyampaikan mesej kebaikan, melarang kemungkaran melalui facebook. Disedari terdapat beberapa cara penggunaannya yang patut ditegah dan boleh jatuh perbuatan tersebut kepada haram, malah berganda-ganda haramnya.

Perlakuan dan perbuatan melalui facebook yang boleh mengundang dosa terlalu banyak, namun di kesempatan ini, cukup saya senaraikan enam perkara, iaitu :-

1) Mendedah keaiban suami, isteri di facebook.
Terdapat beberapa kes yang dilihat sama ada secara langsung atau tidak langsung, pemilik facebook meluahkan perasaan sedih, kecewa, benci, marah terhadap pasangan di ruang status mereka. Mendesak suami atau isteri juga melalui status facebook. Kemudian, status tersebut mendapat komentar pelbagai dari rakan-rakan mereka. Sebagai contoh, ada yang secara terbuka mendesak suami membeli rumah, kereta, pinggan mangkuk, perabot, pakaian dan sebegainya melalui status mereka. Tertekanlah suami serba salah.

Sebagaimana yang disebut oleh ramai specialist di dalam bidang rumah tangga, kebanyakan wanita suka berkongsi dan meluahkan perasaan mereka kepada orang lain sebagai pelepas kepada beban yang ditanggung. Adakalanya ia mungkin bukan bertujuan untuk menjatuhkan suaminya, bukan pula untuk tujuan membuka aib suami atau untuk mencari penyelesaian. Pendedahan itu hanya sebagai pelepas tekanan di dalam diri.

Namun, tanpa disedari perbuatan tersebut tergolong dalam mengumpat yang diharamkan oleh Islam. Semua perlu memahami bahawa mereka tidak boleh sewenangnya bercerita perihal rumahtangga atau pasangan mereka secara terbuka sama ada melalui facebook atau kepada rakan di pejabat dan sebagainya. Sebarang masalah yang sudah tidak dapat diselesaikan olehnya, hanya dibenarkan untuk diluahkan kepada seseorang yang diyakini punyai autoriti seperti ibubapa, mertua dan adik beradik yang diyakini boleh berperanan membantu, bukan berpotensi mengeruhkan lagi keadaan. Boleh juga dikongsikan secara tertutup kepada pihak ketiga seperti Qadhi, Mufti, para ilmuan sama ada Ustaz, Ustazah atau Kaunselor Rumahtangga.

Pendedahan masalah dan info yang boleh mengaibkan suami (dan isteri) TIDAK DIBENARKAN sama sekali disebarkan melalui facebook. Apabila ia dilakukan, ia dengan mudah sekali boleh mengundang dosa.

Terdapat sebahagiannya info tidak secara langsung mengaibkan pasangan, tetapi selaku pembaca, kita dapat ‘membaca' dan mengetahui secara tersirat bahawa si pemilik sedang ‘perang dingin' dengan pasangannya. Ada juga yang difahami, suaminya sedang gagal memenuhi apa yang diingininya, bersifat kurang baik kepadanya dan sebagainya. Ingatlah semua, rumahtangga adalah amanah, jangan meruntuhkannya melalui facebook.

Beramanahlah, berikan suami dan isteri anda password facebook anda, agar mereka sentiasa boleh meneliti mesej-mesej yang dihantar kepada anda. Boleh juga pasangan berperanan selaku penyemak dan memadam (delete) mana yang perlu jika dimasukkan secara emosi tanpa pertimbangan aqal yang wajar.

2) Terlebih gambar
Ramai di kalangan wanita hari ini sudah mempunyai facebook, mungkin sudah menjadi lumrah wanita yang biasanya inginkan kecantikan dan pujian terhadap kecantikannya. Oleh itu, semakin ramai wanita yang memuatkan gambar mereka, sama ada jarak dekat, sangat dekat ( sehingga memenuhi kotak gambar) dan jauh (beramai-ramai atau seorang diri). Ditambah pula lagi dengan gaya, aksi dan fesyen yang pelbagai.

Agak pelik juga kerana sebahagian mereka sudah bersuami dan kelihatan suami mereka memberikan sepenuh keredhaan atas tayangan gambar sedemikian kepada khalayak, tanpa sebarang rasa cemburu dan prihatin. Lebih merbahayakan, ramai pula lelaki yang menontonnya, sebahagiannya memberikan pujian, malah ada yang berani bergurau senda, dan membuat ‘lamaran' nafsu.

Lebih pelik, tuan punya facebook yang sepatutnya mampu mengawal dan memadam sebarang komen kurang etika, kelihatan membiarkan sahaja lamaran nafsu (seperti ajakan berdating, kahwin-padahal telah bersuami) tersebut di ruangan komentar gambarnya, tanpa rasa bersalah.

Berterusan bercanda mereka melalui ruang komentar, si lelaki dan wanita ada juga yang telah beristeri dan bersuami, cuma atas tiket kawan lama, sepejabat dan sebagainya, hal tersebut dibiarkan. Malah jika kedua-duanya masih bujang sekalipun, ia tetap BERDOSA dan SALAH di sisi Islam kerana ia termasuk dalam kategori larangan Allah ‘janganlah kamu menghampiri zina'.

Saya bimbang, ramai pula lelaki yang menjadi dayus dek kerana gambar isteri terdedah aurat ( atau menutup aurat kurang sempurna) ditayang sehabisnya di facebook. Baca perihal ciri lelaki dayus di sini .

3) Penyamaran
Lelaki menyamar sebagai wanita untuk menjadi friend dan seterusnya mendapat maklumat wanita. Ada dilaporkan juga, sebahagian lelaki berang kerana tidak diluluskan menjadi ‘friend' seseorang wanita. Akibatnya, si lelaki tidak mendapat kemudahan akses kepada gambar-gambar wanita tersebut. Bagi membolehkannya mendapat akses, terdapat lelaki yang mula menyamar menjadi wanita, meletakkan gambar mana-mana wanita yang boleh dijumpai secara mudah tertebaran di interent, diletakkan sebagai dirinya. Melalui cara itu, lelaki ini berjaya menjadi friend dan menonton seluruh gambar wanita terbabit dan berbuat apa yang disukainya dengan gambar itu.

Si wanita yang pada asalnya merasa selamat kerana merasakan dirinya telah menapis sebaiknya, rupanya masih terdedah gambarnya kepada yang orang yang tidak sepatutnya. Kerana itu, walau anda hanya membenarkan friend untuk menatapi gambar anda, pastikan semua gambar tersebut masih terhad dan terjaga.

4) Download gambar untuk simpanan dan tatapan.
Dimaklumkan juga, akibat dek kerana gambar wanita yang terlalu ‘bersepah' difacebook, terdapat lelaki berhati buas yang memuat turun gambar tersebut dan disimpan sebagai koleksi peribadinya. Justeru, sedarlah, mana-mana wanita yang dikurniakan Allah punyai ‘rupa' yang menurut pandangan ramai sebagai elok dan menawan. Golongan sebegini amat perlu sekali lebih berwaspada lebih daripada mereka yang lain.

Malangnya, golongan sebegini kelihatan lebih ghairah menjaja gambar mereka untuk mendapat lebih banyak pujian dan ...'DOSA'. Simpan sahajalah gambar-gambar 'kiut' (cute) anda, cukuplah ia buat tatapan suami. Cukuplah pujian rakan sekeliling yang benar-benar mengenali anda. Tidak perlulah tamakkan pujian manusia luar.

Tunggu sahajalah pujian para malaikat dan bidadari di Syurga nanti, terlampau tidak sabarkah wahai diri? Sedarilah, ke'kiut'an anda mungkin menjadikan sebuah rumahtangga hancur, kecemburuan wanita lain, kerana boleh wujud gejala suami yang membanding-bandingkan wajah dan tubuh anda dengan isterinya. Jika itu berlaku, pemilik gambar mendapat saham dosa.

5) Tagging gambar tanpa izin dan gambar silam yang membuka aurat.
Tagging atau menandakan sesuatu gambar yang disiar merupakan satu fungsi mudah untuk menyebarluaskan gambar seseorang termasuk diri sendiri kepada kenalan dan rakan. Malangnya fungsi ini menjadi sumber dosa yang banyak juga dewasa ini. Isu ini juga pernah ditulis oleh beberapa penulis lain seperti Ust Abu Umair dan Sdr Shahmuzir. Saya ingin menegaskan lagi tulisan mereka.

Ini adalah kerana, terdapat ‘trend' menyebarkan gambar-gambar lama, dan kemudian meletakkan tagging kepada individu di dalam gambar. Perlu disedari, setiap gambar yang di'tag', akan muncul dan boleh dilihat oleh semua friend, dan rakan kepada friend tersebut juga boleh menontonnya.

Ini boleh menjadi dosa, kerana :-
a- Sebahagian individu di dalam gambar terbabit mungkin dahulu tidak menutup aurat, tetapi kini telah menutup aurat. Justeru penyebaran gambarnya yang tidak menutup aurat adalah haram.

b- Individu terbabit berada di dalam rumah, bersama keluarga, justeru penutupan auratnya tidak begitu sempurna kerana di dalam rumah sendiri atau di dalam keadaan ‘candid', tetapi akibat ketidakperihatinan sebahagian ahli keluarga terhadap hal aurat. Gambarnya yang sedemikian tersebar. Sepatutnya, kita yang di'tanda' boleh dengan segera delete 'tag' itu, hasilnya walau gambar masih tersiar tetapi ia tidak mempunyai sebarang pengenalan. Itu paling kurang boleh dilakukan oleh individu yang prihatin dan berawas-awas. Namun malangnya, sebahagian pemilik facebook tidak sedar mereka boleh ‘untagged' nama mereka. Malah kalau mereka boleh untagged sekalipun, penyebaran gambar sedemikian tetap salah dan berDOSA di dalam Islam.

c- Gambar mengaibkan orang lain. Gambar yang disiarkan itu, walaupun menutup aurat, tetapi dalam situasi mengaibkan. Mungkin ia tidak mengaibkan individu yang menyiarkannya kerana dia dalam keadaan baik dan bagus. Namun rakannya berada dalam situasi mengaibkan, tambahan pula dia kini merupakan ‘seseorang' yang terhormat, punyai kedudukan baik di mata masyarakat,. Apabila gambar sedemikian disiarkan, ia mencemar nama baiknya. Penyiaran sebegitu sama seperti mengutuknya secara langsung di khalayak ramai, sama ada sengaja atau tidak, semua perlu sedar..anda mungkin bebas menyiarkan gambar anda, namun gambar orang lain. Keizinan perlu diperolehi terlebih dahulu sebelum siaran dibuat.

6. Mengutuk diri sendiri & kebaikan
Adakalanya terdapat juga wanita-wanita berpenampilan cukup solehah, berpakaian extra caution dalam bab aurat sewaktu zaman universiti atau sekolahnya. Namun sesudah masuk ke alam pekerjaan dan perkahwinan, imejnya berubah begitu drastik dengan make up cukup jelas menghiasi wajah, baju bekerlipan warnanya, yang tebal dahulu sudah jadi nipis, adakalanya tidak sempurna dan macam-macam lagi. Alasannya? Seribu satu macam. Suami pula mungkin bukan dari jenis yang cermat untuk menegur dan menasihat.

Yang menyedihkan, apabila tersiar gambar lamanya yang berpakaian extra caution lagi sopan di facebook, disiarkan oleh rakan-rkana lama. Tuan punya tubuh, kelihatan tanpa malu dan segan mengutuk dirinya sendiri sama ada secara langsung atau tidak langsung. Lahirlah kata-kata, ‘zaman aku ekstrem', ‘zaman solehah', ‘waktu innocent', zaman-zaman suci', 'itu zaman kuno dulu', 'itu masa duduk bawah tempurung' dan lain-lain frasa yang sepertinya.

Tanpa disedarinya, ia mendedahkan keaiban dirinya sendiri, apabila berkata zaman solehah, bermakna kini adakah dia mengaku tidak lagi solehah?, kini tidak suci?. dan lain-lain. Ia juga sekaligus seolah mengutuk pemakaian sopan dirinya dahulu. Ingatlah wahai diri, jika tidak mampu istiqamah atas pakaian dan penampilan dahulu, janganlah sampai mengutuknya. Kerana ia sama seperti mengutuk pakaian yang sopan lagi baik, seolah mendahulukan yang kurang baik.


KESIMPULAN
Itulah facebook, ia boleh menjadi sumber pahala, jika diguna dengan betul, boleh menjadi pemudah azab jika digunakan tanpa ilmu dan limitasi. Berhati-hatilah dan berpada-padalah pemilik facebook.

Niat untuk mendekatkan ukhuwwah antara rakan lama, sekolah dan sebagainya tidak sama sekali boleh menghalalkan sembangan mesra, gurauan senda di antara suami dan isteri orang, antara lelaki dan wanita yang bukan mahram. Ia hanya akan membawa kepada kemudaratan dan keruntuhan rumahtangga. Janganlah lagi mempermainkan nama 'ukhuwah' untuk berbuat dosa.

Ukhuwwah itu hanya terhad sesuatu yang membawa kepada ingatan kepada Allah, mengajak kebaikan dan menjauh kemungkaran. Lihatlah surah al-Hujurat dan fahamkan kalam Allah sebaiknya akan erti ukhuwwah di kalangan mukmin.

Assalamu'alaikum,

It's true..there must be an agenda for non-Muslims to use the word 'ALLAH'....If not, how come this issue did not crop up hundreds of years ago.
Please pass on this to others Muslim Brothers and Sisters.
wassalam,

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: < >
Date: Tue, Feb 2, 2010 at 9:13 AM
Subject: Fw: Please read....& Professor Al-Attas answered regarding usage of the word Allah by non-Muslims

Subject: Fw: Professor Al-Attas answered regarding usage of the word Allah by non-Muslims

On December 13, 2009, during the Worldview of Islam Seminar organized by the Assembly of Muslim Intellectuals or Himpunan Keilmuan Muda (HAKIM), there was a question being posted to Professor Al-Attas regarding the polemical
usage of the word "Allah" by the non-Muslims.

Below is the transcript of his brief-but-yet- concise enlightening remarks. As a word of caution, though, one must
not only rely on this brief transcript alone to understand the whole spectrum of Prof. Al-Attas' view about this
theological matter. Further thorough elucidation of his thought can be found in numerous works of this great
Muslim scholar of this age, such as Prolegomena to the Metaphysics of Islam, Islam and Secularism, Islam dalam
Sejarah dan Kebudayaan Melayu and A Commentary on Hujjat al-Siddiq of Nur al-Din al-Raniri

Question: The using of kalimah “Allah” by other people in this country
Answers by Prof. Syed Muhammad Naquib Al-Attas:

Well I have been talking about this long time ago. I remember about this in ISTAC, when we first established ourselves
(late 80’s and early 90’s), I think the Arcbishop of Penang was asking this question. And I have answered that.

And then we had a meeting with the Archbishop of Kuala Lumpur and about all the representatives of Christianity,
including the ministers, we had a meeting at ISTAC. And I said, “Why you want to use the word ‘Allah’ for yourself?”

They said “we going to pray in Bahasa Malaysia”

That’s the way they put it. So my answers to them, “Why you have to change praying into Bahasa Malaysia. You have
been praying in English all the time. Why suddenly change into Bahasa Malaysia?”

Ok, so they said they want to change so that it more patriotic. Then in that case I’m saying that “why don’t you use
Tuhan while praying in Bahasa Malaysia? Because you are talking about God isn’t it?…God is not just a name…”Allah”
is a name of this Being whom you called God… and in fact a Being whom even higher than what you called to be God”

And then I said, “ …and “Allah” is not from Bahasa Malaysia. It is not a national language. It belongs to the language
of Muslim all over the world. Therefore your argument using this for the word “Allah” does not fit into your idea of God. Because “Allah” does not have a son, It is not one of three (Trinity), that is why out of respect to Allah we can’t allow
you to use this.“

But when we Muslim, when we write in English we say God, or when we talk to people we say God but we mean “Allah”…
but they cannot say when they speak about God it means “Allah” as they don’t mean it.

So in this particular respect, we have to be clear about this, not was-was (hesitate).. .whomever responsible in our
governing, they have to be clear about this and to explain to others.

We agree you want to use God, then use Tuhan as we also use that…but we understand in the Malay language that
Tuhan is not a translation of Allah..that is why we say “tiada Tuhan melainkan Allah” not “tiada Tuhan melainkan Tuhan”.
We don’t say “there is not God but God”..at least the ulama’ among the Muslim Malays, we understand what is the
meaning of that (word “Allah”).

So “Allah” cannot be translated as no language has translated Allah. The Arabs themselves they only use that after Islam..although the word existed (before)..the Christians Arab they also did not use Allah (in theological, epistemological
and ontological sense in the same manner as the Muslim)..if they say that it is just a language..they talking about language..because they say “Allah” like the Muslim when they (melatah)…

So it appears they want to do that in order to confuse the Muslim into thinking that all the same..that is why I say one
of the problems about religion is the nature of God..about who Allah is..that is why in Arkanul Iman (The Pillars of Faith),
the first thing is “amana billah”.

“Who is this Allah?” and that need to be explain at higher institution in a proper way…
So we have answer the question. It is not proper to allow them using this, since they asking us and there is no point
bringing this to court since this is not a matter of court to decide it whether they have the freedom to use it or not.
It is up to the Muslims.

But then if they used it and said “in Indonesia they have use it, why can’t we?”…but it is because of the Muslims..
if Muslims don’t care they will go on and use it..and in Indonesia they are using not only that, other things they even
call it “choir” as “selawat”. Choir is not a “selawat”, as “selawat” is for Prophet..it’s not singing hymn..

And they also talk about...in Indonesia they are also confuse..Muslims..that is why this thing happen. Sometimes the
language when you come across English words like “Prophet of Doom” in Indonesia they said “Nabi celaka”.
How can there be “Nabi celaka”? What is meant by the “Prophet of Doom” is…even the word Prophet in English does
not mean “Nabi” only…it means “yang meramalkan malapetaka”..that what it means…so the “Prophet of Doom” means
“yang meramalkan malapetaka”, not “Nabi celaka”.

They (the Muslims in Indonesia) seem not to bother about this. What we can say is that ultimately well they say
“God is not Allah”...well if you want to use the word God, we are saying we also use the word God, we refer to Allah
as we know and we are not saying that your God ultimately will not refer to Allah. You can’t run away from Allah.

You can only escape Him and so in the Qur’an (surah An-Naas) says: “Qul aAAoothu birabbi annas, Maliki annas,
Ilahi annas”. He (Allah) is saying “ I am the real Ilah (God) of naas (mankind)”, although mankind (non-Muslim)
does not interpret it that way.
--------------------------

Emotions Are A Part Of Life

Life is like an unsolved puzzle. No one can define what life is because it is a very complex thing.

Life is something that makes you happy and proud at times and

makes you feel so low at times that you say to yourself,
"Why was I born?"
But whatever it is, it is real fun.

In Life, in every moment, something new happens; something that

you never expected, something that you were waiting from a long while

to happen and something you were expecting to happen.

It is a combination of happiness, sorrow, joy, love, anger,

enjoyment, loneliness, fear, excitement and many other emotions.

The definition of the word life can't be completed

without using the word emotions.

Some people work in emotions whereas others work with emotions.

So it's very important to understand how people are using their emotions.

If they are letting emotions get control over them, then they'll be dragged

by others and situations all the time. But, if he is controlling his emotions

in a proper way, then no one will ever have control over him.

The way a person uses his emotions is what we call attitude.

Someone has correctly said, "Your attitude determines your altitude in life".

Attitude, as I already defined, is the way an individual uses his emotions

and directly related to the psyche of a person.

Some people use their emotions in a positive way

and some people do it in a negative sense.

When people use emotions in a positive way we call it positive attitude

and when they use it in a negative way we call it negative attitude.

It's up to an individual to decide how he uses his emotions.

Which way will you decide ?

Hi All,

Just for the sake of reading..... Zodiac 2010

If your birthday is before February 4, then your astrological sign is Horse, not Sheep. (Verify Your Sign)

Sheep people shouldn't have had any great fortune in 2009, year of Cow. This is because Cow and Sheep have a fighting relationship, which brings very poor luck to people. In 2010, year of Tiger, there are many Lucky Stars coming into Sheep people's life. Those signs shows Sheep people have good career luck, people relationship, financial status and love relationship in 2010. However, when Sheep meets Tiger, sheep always have pressure. Therefore, Sheep people need to become smarter and act stronger during the Tiger year. Then 2010 will be an easy year for them.


Career: Tiger brings Sheep pressure. Therefore, career pressure will exist during the year of Tiger. The good news is you have a job. The better news is you have a two Sky Helper and Moon Helper Stars in 2010. Whenever you have difficulty or trouble in your task, you can get help from people close to you. Also, you will become smarter in the Metal Tiger. You will have more creativity or have an outstanding idea to show people. Then you will gain the reputation from your boss and coworkers. If you have any chance to sign a contract for your business or career future, then you have better advice from people. Make sure you understand the contract to avoid any entanglement in agreement later.

Money: Sheep people have both Moon Star and Happy Star appearing in the Metal Tiger year. This clearly means that your talent, performance and reputation bring good income for you in 2010. If you own a business, then you will see your business booming and your profit growing. However, you cannot gamble your money luck into a short-term risky investment. This is because that you have an Unlucky Star showing that there is a hole in your pocket. Your money is leaking while you are earning. Either you spend more time and energy to watch your financial management, or make some donations to charity to prevent from money loss from other investments.

Love: Sheep people shouldn't have had good love relationship in 2009. There are two Lucky Stars, Sky Helper and Happy Star, showing in the Tiger year. They are the good sign for people relationship and love relationship. Therefore, Sheep people will have more social activities and have more chances to meet the opposite sex. If you are still single, people around you might introduce a match for you. If you have girl friend or boy friend, then both of you will have closer love relationship, even a marriage opportunity. If you are married, then 2010 will be one of great marriage years in your life. Young couple might have a new born child arriving. But if married people try for a new relationship, then it has a chance to cause big money loss, because Tiger is watching Sheep.

Health: Sheep people have many happy happenings in year of Tiger. The good mood will bring good health. But there is an Unlucky Star in the health area. That means you still need to pay attention the safety when driving or working. The most important area is that Sheep people must watch for the health of family members. If you have elders or sick relative at home, you should check their health condition often. Since you have a Moon Star in 2010, the health of family members shouldn't cause a big issue. Also, if it's possible that Sheep people don't attend any funeral in the year of Tiger.

Fortune: There are many good signs for Sheep people in 2010. Career, reputation and wealth have good opportunities. But your intelligence and courage are required to reach your dreams. The social and love relationship will bring you a happy mood in 2010. If you are married with children, you might have trouble taking care of your career and children at the same time. If you are a married female, then you don't have enough time for your kids, husband and your own career. Sheep people have good luck in the year of Tiger. They should spend more time taking care of their relatives or help other needy people.

If you plant honesty, you will reap trust.

If you plant goodness, you will reap friends.

If you plant humility, you will reap greatness.

If you plant perseverance, you will reap victory.

If you plant consideration, you will reap harmony.

If you plant hard work, you will reap success.

If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation.

If you plant openness, you will reap intimacy.

If you plant patience, you will reap improvements.

If you plant faith, you will reap miracles.

But..............

If you plant dishonesty, you will reap distrust.

If you plant selfishness, you will reap loneliness.

If you plant pride, you will reap destruction.

If you plant envy, you will reap trouble.

If you plant laziness, you will reap stagnation.

If you plant bitterness, you will reap isolation.

If you plant greed, you will reap loss.

If you plant gossip, you will reap enemies.

If you plant worries, you will reap wrinkles.

If you plant sin, you will reap guilt.

So be careful what you plant now, It will determine what you will reap tomorrow, The seeds you now scatter, Will make life worse or better, your life or the ones who will come after. Yes, someday, you will enjoy the fruits, or you will pay for the choices you plant today.

Maybe another great urban legend but worth a read....



A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:


Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here..
I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to
marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.
You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered
only as middle class in New York .
My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an
income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?
I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?
Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems
that this is my upper limit.
If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of
New York City Garden ( ? ) , $250k annual income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and
addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)

2) Which age group should I target?

3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I've met a few
girls who don't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to
marry rich guys.

4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your
girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty

An awesome reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan:

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls
out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to
analyse your situation as a professional investor.
My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I
hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry
you.

The answer is very simple, so let me explain.
Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty"
and "money" : Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and
square.
However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my
money will not be gone without any good reason.
The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be
prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an
appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal
depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset,
your value will be much worse 10 years later.



By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating
with you is also a "trading position".



If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to
keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It
might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any
assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased".



Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date
you, but will not marry you.



I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy.
And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k
annual income.
This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do
contact me.





Signed,
J.P. Morgan CEO

There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to the baker. One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting a pound and he found that he was not. This angered him and he took the farmer to court.

The judge asked the farmer if he was using any measure. The farmer replied, "ur Honor, I am primitive. I don't have a proper measure, but I do have a scale." The judge asked, "Then how do you weigh the butter" The farmer replied "Your Honor, long before the baker started buying butter from me, I have been buying a pound loaf of bread from him. Every day when the baker brings the bread, I put it on the scale and give him the same weight in butter. If anyone is to be blamed, it is the baker."

What is the moral of the story? We get back in life what we give to others.

Whenever you take an action, ask yourself this question - Am I giving fair value for the wages or money I hope to make ?

Honesty and dishonesty become a habit. Some people practice dishonesty and can lie with a straight face. Others lie so much that they don't even know what the truth is anymore. But who are they deceiving ? Themselves -- more than anyone else.

Honesty can be put across gently. Some people take pride in being brutally honest. It seems they are getting a bigger kick out of the brutality than the honesty. Choice of words and tact are important.

10. Flirting is all about attitude. A good flirt is self-confident and not afraid to take risks. Be enthusiastic, open and positive. It works!

9. Start a conversation. The best opening line is saying hello. Talk about the surroundings, ask a question, ask for help, make a joke, state an opinion. Make sure you are calm and composed but just do it before the person you've got your eye on walks out of the bar or passed you in the street, never to be seen again!

8. Have fun. Be playful, light-hearted and spontaneous. Show your vulnerability.

7. Use props. Never leave home without a prop. Props are natural conversation starters. They encourage conversation and others will be compelled to start talking to you. Great props include: dogs, kids, unusual jewelry, a fabulous scent, a distinctive bag from your favorite store or an interesting book or newspaper.

6. Be the host. Change your behavior from the role of guest to host. You are not the passive person in waiting, but rather the welcome committee.

5. Make the first move. Move closer to the person you want to meet. Say hello! You can move closer to your perfect match online right now by contacting your perfect match for free.

4. Listen. You have two ears and one mouth because you should listen twice as much as you speak. Listening is a true art. Your flirting partner will be drawn to you. Everyone loves to be.

3. Eye contact. Make eye contact, but please look your partner in the eye gently (no more than 2-4 seconds) and then glance away. Don't stare, it's a turn off.

2. Compliment. Compliment your flirting partner. The best compliments have the element of surprise. The "flirtee" will know that you really noticed them. Remember, your compliments must be honest, sincere and genuine. When you receive a compliment the best response is merely to say Thank You!

1. Smile. It is contagious. It will make you so much more approachable. A smile lights up your face and draws people to you. You will be a people magnet. Try it